The Question Technique
I used to be very impatient and easily irritated, but over the passed ten years I have learned to become more patient by using one simple technique. This technique is really simple, but not easy.
The technique is asking yourself numerous questions as you are confronted with a situation that irritates, annoys, and provokes you.
Let me give you an example. Let say that you go home to find that your spouse had made a huge mess in the bathroom or the bedroom. It would be natural for you to be angry with him. Before you lash out at him, you should ask yourself these questions:
- What will I gain from lashing out at him? Sure it will satisfy my anger for a while, but then what?
- Will getting mad at him make him change?
- Will shouting at him make him feel sorry?
- If while getting mad at him we get into a fight, then what?
- Do I really want to get into a fight over something that is so trivial?
- Will I regret getting into a fight with him?
- What if this fight put a dent in our relationship? Is it worth it?
- How could I resolve the situation in a more productive way?
- How could I make him realize what he did without offending him?
- How could I communicate with him in such a way that the message gets through?
- And whatever questions you can come up with that will be relevant to the situation.
In the process of asking all these questions you will have gotten calmer and you will have a better chance of acting in the right manner.
Mind you, the one question that you should never ask is this: Why is he doing this to me? This is the question that will make everything worse.
You must realize that he is not doing anything to you, but he is just doing what he is doing.
Usually when people do something that irritate us, they never meant to hurt us. They are not doing anything to us. They are just being themselves.
Like I said, this is not an easy technique, but if you try, you will find that you will react better to every situation. As time goes by you will find that you become more reasonable and more patient. What asking yourself series of questions does is that it delays the time of your reaction to the situation thus making your negative emotion weaker in strength. Asking all these questions assist you in finding the perfect way to handle the situation.
I realize that this technique will not work for everyone, but if you are anything like me, being very inquisitive, you can make use of your inquisitive nature to your advantage.
After you practice this technique for a while you will discover that there is perfect way to act in every situation. You will be acting appropriately in most of the situations you encounter. You will find that after a while asking questions become natural. You will also learn so much from every situation you encounter.
Give it a try.
No related posts.
Did you enjoy this post? Why not leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to my feed and get articles like this delivered automatically to your feed reader.
Comments
No comments yet.
Leave a comment